To Become an Adult

I haven't had a true job in forever.

The last job I had (June 2012), lasted one week before I had to quit. Such a severe bout of anxiety came over me that I lost nearly 10 lbs from loss of appetite. I didn't sleep well, and felt like a husk.

Since that time, I've come to regret badgering my husband to the point he felt he needed to call my employers and quit for me. It's possible -- probable, even -- that I would have gotten over the fear I felt winding up in my head and stomach while I was on-the-clock. I'll never know, at least in that situation.

Due to our lack of finances, however, I must get a better job than the part-time work I have online. Tasks are not always available and I have a less than stellar willpower to continually check for work. As such, I needed to look for work in the real world.

I started today, having lit upon the idea of child-care, but there was none in this area. I remembered substitute teaching, as I had done that when in AR and loved it. I pushed down my fears and applied. Now... now I wait.

In the meantime, here is my food count for the day:

Lunch:
Tortilla (2): 160 C
Meat (3 TBS): 100 C
Cheese (1.5 slices): 75 C
Sour cream (2 TBS): 20 C
Refried beans (black, low fat): 110 C
Tomato (Roma): 35 C

Donut: 310 C
Milk: 90

Dinner:
Pizza: 640
Yogurt: 90

Yogurt: 80
Carrot mix: 150
String-cheese: 50

Total: 1910