Monday, January 28, 2013

:: motivation ::

I've been keeping track of my calories these past few days, even though I haven't posted them (*looks* wow, it has been awhile). Between the laptop and my desktop I'm unsure which days are which, but I made sure I was under 2500 Calories, and tended to stay around 2000.

Yesterday I ordered pizza. Here's what the day turned into:

Breakfast:
Cereal: 320

Lunch:
Pizza (3 slices): 900

Dinner:
Pizza (2 slices): 620

Snacks:
1 Rice cake: 50
1 TBSP PB: 80
1 TBSP GJ: 10
Milk: 90

Cheese: 110
Meat: 100

Total: 2280

We also went to Maui Wowi for smoothies two days in a row, and the 20 oz. Hawaiian Breeze I drank was 357 Calories so I'm fairly pleased with that.

But that's not what I'm writing this post about. Through some twisted trail of YouTube magic, I ended up watching an episode of Supersize vs Superskinny. And now I'm in a bit of delirium.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

To Become an Adult

I haven't had a true job in forever.

The last job I had (June 2012), lasted one week before I had to quit. Such a severe bout of anxiety came over me that I lost nearly 10 lbs from loss of appetite. I didn't sleep well, and felt like a husk.

Since that time, I've come to regret badgering my husband to the point he felt he needed to call my employers and quit for me. It's possible -- probable, even -- that I would have gotten over the fear I felt winding up in my head and stomach while I was on-the-clock. I'll never know, at least in that situation.

Due to our lack of finances, however, I must get a better job than the part-time work I have online. Tasks are not always available and I have a less than stellar willpower to continually check for work. As such, I needed to look for work in the real world.

I started today, having lit upon the idea of child-care, but there was none in this area. I remembered substitute teaching, as I had done that when in AR and loved it. I pushed down my fears and applied. Now... now I wait.

In the meantime, here is my food count for the day:

Lunch:
Tortilla (2): 160 C
Meat (3 TBS): 100 C
Cheese (1.5 slices): 75 C
Sour cream (2 TBS): 20 C
Refried beans (black, low fat): 110 C
Tomato (Roma): 35 C

Donut: 310 C
Milk: 90

Dinner:
Pizza: 640
Yogurt: 90

Yogurt: 80
Carrot mix: 150
String-cheese: 50

Total: 1910


Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Hi, I'm Bri and I'm a sushi addict.

Yesterday was band practice. Due to life being all life-y at me, I ended up not eating lunch until after I got to our drummer's house (ie: practice space). It was a small frozen noodle meal paired with a can of tuna, and while tasty and low-cal, I was hungry when I got home. Suddenly, one bowl of cereal turned into two, plus two roll-ups of Havarti cheese and lunch meat. I still had less than 2500 Calories, but I learned I need to plan a little better to insure I have filling meals so I don't mindlessly snack.

Today I had a doctor's appointment. I updated her on my new inspiration and that I was limiting myself to 2500 Calories a day (and had stayed under that so far). She was happy with this, though she asked why I hadn't continued to lose since my initial 30-lb drop. I continued talking with her about my current living situation, and how stressful it's become for the Hubs and myself. She nodded and explained emotions mess with everything (obviously). When one part of our well-being is out of whack, the entire body is out of whack. Long story short, I'll be looking into a therapist soon to help guide me to better myself. Doc also told me one burns more calories in the winter because our bodies need to heat up when we're outside, so walking outside is a bonus. So... I'll need to do that, even in the FIVE DEGREE weather we're having >_<

Meanwhile, Hubster wanted sushi after my appointment. A local chain grocer has some tasty sushi so I popped in to see their selection. I'm pleased that they offer brown rice sushi as well, though the selection isn't usually as wide. I asked the woman at the counter if she could make other items with brown rice and she said she could, if told in advance. She makes all her brown rice items in the morning (I assume because it's not as popular as white rice), but has return customers who call in and request it on certain days every week. She pointed out some flyers with a few examples of their offered sushi, so I've taken them to get familiar with what they have.

In the end I grabbed a Chef's Sampler for Andrew, as it had what appeared to be the best selection of salmon (which he'll eat raw if given the chance), a brown rice Spicy California Roll for myself, and we split a Hawaiian Roll (which had 12 pieces total). After looking up the foods online and doing a little over-estimation, and adding in the small amounts of sriracha, soy sauce, and soda I had, I ended up with a <650 lunch (that is, without the dessert I almost forgot I ate! Gotta write things down immediately!). Rather happy that I can keep eating sushi!!

**

It's the end of the day, and I've had a late dinner. I felt it important to show the total of my day.

Breakfast
Cereal: 360
Skim Milk: 90

Lunch
Soy Sauce (2 TB): 20
Sriracha: 5
Spicy CA: 286
Hawaiian roll: 300
Soda: 20
Donut: 310

Dinner
Tortillas: 160
Sour cream: 20
Salsa: 5
Black Beans: 110
Cheese: 110
Taco Meat: 100*

Total: 1896 Calories

* Until I get a food scale, I can only go by generic internet nutrition guides. I had 3 Tbs of taco meat, and of the few sources I found, most had less than 100 Calories for 1/4 cup (or 4 Tbs). I rounded up to account for the fat-to-meat ratio (which I don't know) and any 'secrets' in the seasoning.

If I have a snack before bed, it will be a donut (310) and some milk (90). That will be 400 extra calories to what I have, still putting me under my 2500 daily goal (at 2296 Cals). I mostly am putting this here so I don't have to amend it later if I do in fact snack on that very tempting donut. I ended up going with the BiL to Burger King and getting a medium caramel frappe without whipped cream. That's somewhere under 500 calories (and as such, under my goal) but I'm unsure how much. No, I didn't need it. I'm still learning to control such urges.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Singapore Noodles!

Today was the first day I had a hard time. Not with cravings, necessarily, but with what I would be eating. The past two days we’ve gone out with Ricky and with a little research (made much easier thanks to smartphones and tablets), I’ve been able to figure out food options fairly easily. But today I was at home, and I wanted something quick. I didn’t want a donut, because while I could figure in those calories later in the day, having one for breakfast would not be satisfying.

We woke up around noon. Yesterday our heater (unbeknownst to us) reset in a power flicker and we returned to an approximately 40° room. I slept in two long-sleeve shirts, a pair of sweatpants, two pairs of socks, under a comforter and an electric throw (Hubs had his own). We basically hibernated.

Needless to say, waking up to temperatures that didn’t get above 20° meant we weren’t going anywhere to buy food (even though I planned to get groceries at some point). I remembered my soup drawer, found a can of light chicken soup with brown rice, and had it with a few black bean tortilla chips. Donut for dessert.

Then I honestly just put off eating. It was in the back of my mind constantly, but I knew I’d have to cook and I did not want to deal with rummaging for foods that would go well together and calorie-counting. In fact, in opening the freezer to see if I had any Lean Cuisine meals left, I instead stood staring at two bags of horrible-for-you frozen burritos. Again, knew that wouldn’t be filling, even if it was quick.

Internet to the rescue!! I bought some fabulous noodles at
Whole Foods a couple days ago (that was a trip! We’d never been to WF before) and remembered this evening that I had seen at least one good recipe for them. While checking through the recipe’s instructions and item list, I mentally went though what foods I had available to substitute. What resulted was probably the best Asian-inspired noodle dish I’ve ever made. A super special Thank You! to Beth at Budget Bytes for the inspiration!

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Day at the Museum!

Stayed in bed as long as possible. When it's 9°F outside, no one wants to go anywhere. I mean really. But I finally got up around 10:30-11 am, and after getting dressed +Andrew (Hubs), +Richard Chason II (BiL), and I all went to Starbucks. I had the same breakfast I had yesterday (when I actually started counting calories): oatmeal and coffee. I cut out the half & half and instead went for a sampler cup of whole milk. I used to hate oatmeal, but for the past year or so I've grown very fond of it, especially when I'm able to add in apples. A few days ago, Hubs even commented:
A: "I thought you hated raisins?" B: "Well, I hated oatmeal too. But they go great together." BiL wanted to go to the Boise Art Museum, so I asked to stop in Walmart and buy some healthy snack foods. For whatever reason, my heart (and tongue) was set on carrots. I grabbed two bags of baby carrots; a small box of seasoned, crumbled feta; and a large bag of lightly salted almonds, plus a box of sandwich bags to stuff my snacky-snacks in.

On the way to BAM I assembled little ~150-Calorie bags and stuck them in my pockets, intending to munch away at feta-seasoned carrots and almonds while walking through the museum. Unfortunately, as soon as we walked in the door we were politely told no water was allowed (Hubs and I had brought our cups from Starbucks) and allowed to place them on a counter to pick up when we left. I put my coat back in the car so there would be no hint at funny business.

Friday, January 18, 2013

Intro and Explanation

A good buddy of mine has been kind enough to chat at me regarding my want to lose weight and get healthy. We had similar interests in high school and I kinda think of him as a (slightly) younger brother. I have appreciated so much that he was willing to take time out of his life (wife, baby, another on the way, full-time job) to give me direction and encouragement. Thanks again, Robbie!

As such, I'll be chronicling my health journey here. This means at least once a week I'll be posting my progress (probably Wednesdays): meal plan, any weight/inch loss, ups and downs. I decided to start a blog to better myself, really. I want it to be personal, but helpful to others out there like myself (specifically the "I'm a fat girl but I wanna rock people's faces off!!" crowd). Also, for the record, I'm a fat girl. I don't use that as an insult. It's what I am. When I go shopping, I tell the hubs I'm headed to the Fat Girl Clothes, and we often refer to ourselves as Fats, Fatties, or Big'Uns. If you for whatever reason find that offensive, then A] You must not have known me very long, and B] I don't see a reason for you to be sensitive regarding what I call myself.

Even when I lose weight, I will always be "plus-sized". When I was in high school I weighed around 180 lbs at 5'10, and my pants size was 14. Had I actually done any exercise and watched my eating habits, that number might have fluctuated but more importantly my body would have been more fit, though I'd still have been plus-sized. For the current fashion world, anything 14+ (and sometimes anything 12+) is considered plus-sized. Ridiculous? Sure, especially when you see the images of those women, and realize they aren't obese, but simply average (I can understand the "plus" coming in around 18/20, which some label as XL).

I say all that to say, don't get offended. If you're fat, you're fat. I'm not saying it as a bad thing. The bad part is if you're unhealthy, and that's what I'm looking to change. I'll never be a stick, and I'm fine with that. I know there are women who wish they could gain weight, and while that is something bigger women often laugh about and mutter how we'd love to be in their shoes, the world is hard on them, too.

Aaanyway, that's a bit of insight into what I plan on doing from now on. Starting out simple and working my way forward, one day, one meal at a time.